The Last Supper

Right before the beginning of each semester, I get so nervous and question myself. I worry that I am too old to go back to school and will not be accepted. I would like to thank everyone for making feel like a student and accepting me for who I am. Ms. Swan, your creative spirit and progressive style have dusted off the wheels in my mind and made me think again. What a great gift you have and give so freely. I did enjoy ALL of the speakers, some more than others, and I learned something from each of them. I can say the same for each of my fellow classmates. I felt a sense of sadness each time our learning community lost one of our own; sadness because they were missing out on getting to know a great group of people, thinkers, athletes, musicians, and artists. I would like to think that our class had a special and unique dynamic. However, with Ms. Swan at the helm, I have a feeling that all of her classes are pretty special. So like Johnny, I will be a little corny, my life is changed for the better having shared every Tuesday and Thursday morning as part of this group. I will miss "this"...........immensely.


p.s. I felt a little sense of accomplishment Thursday, Robert stayed awake for my presentation!!!!!

I'm going on strike!

Let me first discus the menu Friday night. I decided to grill out--chicken with a sweet habanera glaze, yellow rice, and a ceasar salad. The chicken came out perfect despite the fact that it was very windy Friday night. You may have noticed by now I love habanera peppers, mango, and lime. I love the heat in the pepper and I like to use mango for the flavor and the sweet taste and a squeeze of lime goes on everything. So, after careful preparation and perfect timing dinner was ready. My boys had both been out, one at the White Station Millington game and the other at the gym. When they get home both are upset for various reasons and go to bed without eating. One is upset over his curfew the other is upset because he feels like he may not get a good enough car next month for his 18th birthday. I love them both dearly but teenagers are so complex. I try to reflect on my own teenage years to try to understand where they are coming from but it's still a challenge. I have decided that I may cook dinner every other night to compensate for any mood swings.

Who's living in a BOX?

I had to do some field hours for a SPED class I am taking so I decided to go to a dance Friday night at the Skinner Center. The Skinner Center is a community center for adults living with disabilities and they host a dance every Friday night. I expected to be in a room with maybe 20 or 30 people sitting around tables with some music playing. I walked into a gymnasium of 250+ people with huge speakers blasting club music and no tables. I watched as people 18 up to about their early 80's danced with complete abandonment and not a care in the world. No matter the level of disability they were on the dance floor moving to the beat of the music while I sat on the bleachers with some of the caretakers. My view of people with disabilities had been kind of like a box, there limitations would only allow them to go so far in different aspects of life. While I sat there watching and wanting to dance but was too self-conscious I felt my own "box" becoming smaller. What limitations did I put on myself voluntarily? What was the difference that allowed the people I was observing to be so free and keep me in my seat? They appeared to be living their lives to the max kind of like go hard or go home. What could I accomplish if I lived my own life to the max? I contemplated who was really the one with a disability.........

Road Kill

This summer I took a day trip to The Crossroads, Clarksdale, MS because I love music and Robert Johnson. The Crossroads is where Johnson allegedly sold his soul to the devil. Anyway, while I was there I purchased a pre-mixed spice rub called Road Kill at an old fashioned drug store/sundry shop. So tonight's dinner was grilled flank steak skewers marinated with Road Kill and L and P. Back to The Crossroads, I went to a couple of museums and folk art galleries and had lunch at Ground Zero. I finished my trip at a bar next to The Shack Up Inn on an old plantation. Very rustic is too elaborate for what The Shack Up Inn looked like. I am not from the south so I still have very distinct opinions about Mississippi and choose not to go there but I had to go to The Crossroads and am glad I did. I have always thought of Mississippi as some what of a foreign country with a kind of cult atmosphere.

Courage with a Side of Inspiration!

Tonight I took my family, two boys plus one of their friends, out for dinner to Central BBQ. It was delicious as usual--wings and bbq nachos. However, before dinner we went to see the documentary The Memphis 13 showing at the Paradiso. The Memphis 13 were the first 13 African American students to integrate white schools in Memphis 50 years ago yesterday and they were only five and six years old. We got to the theater a little after 5pm for the 6pm showing and the line was out the door. A few hundred people were turned away but we were among the first 75 people in line and got great seats in the row in front of The Memphis 13 and their families. I went through the gamut of emotions during the 40 minute film. I laughed, I cried, I felt shame, anger and I felt inspired. Would I have had the courage to take that first step towards change if I had been in their shoes? Would I have been courageous enough to put one foot in front of the other and walk up a few steps and open the door knowing that I was putting myself and my family in a situation that could result in injury or death? Could I have been as brave as the 13's parents and send my six year old child out into a hostile and unknown environment all for the sake of social change?  I would like to say yes but 50 years ago was a very different time in Memphis. People fought for a voice and paid with their life during this time.  I can't say for sure what I would have done all those years ago but today I want to take that first step wherever it made lead..............

Food for Thought

Tonight for dinner I made a basic staple for my family. We had grilled chicken with a jerk rub, yellow rice made with brown rice instead of white, and a ceasar salad. Fresh lime to squeeze on the chicken and rice tops it all off. Only complaint tonight was from my oldest son. I ran out of salad because we had two extra guests for dinner and he went to the gym to play basketball so he was late anyway.
 I decided  that I would like to talk about something that is really pissing me off. Did you know that the superintendent of the city schools gives himself his annual evaluation? He gave himself a very good rating and now the school board has proposed a $40k + bonus for Mr. Cash. I watched Mr. Cash, on the news, answer the question from a reporter and he compared himself to a CEO of a similar sized company and that their bonuses were much larger so it was like he was saving the tax payers money. This is so very wrong in so many ways. The school system is a non-profit not a publicly or privately traded company and cannot be compared to such. The city schools had to lay off teachers and almost did not begin on time due to lack of funds so why would the superintendent receive any kind of bonus. Then there is the WTF question, why is Mr. Cash giving himself his annual evaluation? My next evaluation at my job is in November and the amount my pay will increase is based on my score on that evaluation so I am going to  ask my manager if I can just do it myself. What I really would like to know is how this kind of craziness happens in our city and who hired Mr. Cash and who is the dip s**t on the school board that thought giving him a bonus was a good thing?

No Dinner Tonight

Life gets complicated sometimes and things happen that are out of our control. I had to return my sisters car to Houston, Texas Tuesday after I got out of class. The reason I am having to do this is because my youngest son who is 16 had been staying with my sister and brother-in-law for a couple of months to get his act together and last Wednesday he "takes her car without permission" in the middle of the night and comes back to Memphis. My plan was to drive about 5 hours get a hotel about 9pm and do some homework. Then, get up this morning drive to the airport and come home. I end up driving the entire way and pull up in my sisters driveway at 230 this morning. I caught a shuttle to the airport at 9am to catch a 12pm flight. The plane was a CRJ which has 50 seats and I get a seat by myself in the last row next to the restroom. Thirty minutes into the hour long flight I wanted to grab the p.a. and announce to the last two people who had not used the lavatory yet that is was vacant! Gross! A friend of mine picks me up at the airport and it's about 130pm. My phone rings and it's my sister wondering where her car keys are. In my pocket! Just in case you ever need this service it's $69 dollars to FedEx a key to Houston overnight. I'm not making dinner tonight either. It has been a rough 24 hours and I'm tired.

Saturday

Saturday is a two for day for me because I make breakfast and dinner and this Saturday I did both before I went to work. Breakfast was a simple staple and never any complaints, maple sausage, fried egg, and sharp cheddar on toasted sour dough. The three of them, one of the boys friends came over, all poured syrup on their sandwich and had the choice of bananas or grapes on the side because I was out of strawberries and all three chose grapes. I'm not sure why I think that is weird but I do. Dinner tonight is going to be assembled in a crock pot because I do not get off work until 9pm and I have decided on chili because it is also a no complaints meal unless I make it with turkey and have to hide the package because one of my offspring swears he 'can tell' the difference. I usually make cornbread to serve with the chili but I ran out of time and I just happen to have two baguettes on hand so they will make do. I found this recipe for chili a few years ago, made some adjustments, and I think it's possible that I could place at a cook-off. I always double the recipe because the guest list tends to increase on chili night. I would estimate I made 15-20 servings of chili and I should have had some to freeze for another day. When I got home the chili was almost gone and there was a nub of a baguette left on the counter. That kind of damage would take six to eight teenage boys. Again I am happy, mission accomplished. 

change of plans

Last nights dinner menu was set, salmon with a habanero mango glaze and brown rice. Then I get a text from my oldest son while I was at work asking if we can grill out. Then one of his friends that works at the same place I do asks me in passing the question, "what's for dinner, Shanana?". All their friends call me Shanana, pronounced like the character from the show Martin if you are familiar with the show from sometime in the '90's. I forgot to say that dinner at my house is never reserved for just the people that live there and I usually have at least one extra guest. I love to cook for others and always make enough for a few extras. So the friends request is for my smashed potatoes. OK, charcoal, check. I already have chicken in the refrigerator, no need for thawing. I decide to go with a Jamaican jerk rub that I buy from Central BBQ because it is absolutely delicious with the perfect amount of heat. I combine the rub with olive oil and chopped garlic until it's the consistency of mud and rub it on the chicken breasts. Now for the potatoes. Red potatoes not peeled smashed using a potato masher with cheddar cheese, bacon, cream cheese, and butter, mmmmmmm! So I'm outside in front of the gill tending to the chicken when my oldest angel comes outside to ask what I am cooking. You would have thought my response was liver. He is grumbling and upset that we are not having steak or burgers. I now have secret thoughts of smashing his face into the grill but resist. Dinner is delicious and we do get a couple extra guests who are happy and that makes me happy.

The most important question of the day

The most important question of the day, what's for dinner, maybe not for everyone. In my world I start to hear it repeatedly from about fifteen minutes after my two little angels open their eyes and continue to hear it until I am standing in front of the stove or grill. Don't get me wrong I love to cook but if the tables were turned and I were to ask teenage boys that many questions I think they would spontaneously com bust. I go to sleep wondering what I will come up with for dinner the next night and if I come up with something solid when the inevitable question is asked in the morning I am golden, if not then I spend my day at work creating delicious master pieces in my head. By 3pm I should have a plan mapped out, if not, the stress, oh the stress. I know what awaits me when I arrive home, the question.  So, now with that said, this morning on my way to work I thought about maybe salmon with dill and lime or maybe a mango habanera sauce and brown rice, but then I couldn't decide between the dill or mango. This menu will be put off until Monday. Back to square one. Not to forget there are always several standbys that I can pull from in a crisis that do not require any creativity. Tonight will be a perfect night for this menu selection. Breakfast for dinner is always loved by all but I made banana pancakes, ham and cheese omelets, and maple sausage yesterday morning for breakfast. I could make a Caesar salad with chicken but that is alot of chopping of vegetables and working Sunday on a holiday weekend in retail has worn me out for the day. Grilled ham and cheese sandwiches on wheat, some with tomatoes and soup sounds quick and painless. The decision has been made even though I know there will be complaints. This meal will require the use of minimal dishes, pots and pans and therefore have a quick cleanup. Until tomorrow.